Fly me...

Dear Congressman,

As part of putting together electronic records for the Cincinnati Airport, I came across an annual report prepared by airport staff in 1968. This guide included airline slogans for the main carriers that flew into the airport during that era. I will list them for you below, however it would not be me if I did not include some rambling of my own as we play "where are they now" to these brilliant snippets of 1960's marketing genius.

Eastern Airlines : Smiling faces going places. This turned out to be untrue, as in 1989 Eastern Airlines declared for bankruptcy protection after being crippled by employee strikes and inability to compete after de-regulation. They limped along until January 1991, when (with no warning) they closed the jet bridges, sent everyone home, and sold off the airplanes. Not too many smiles over that one...

TWA: When your happy, I'm Happy. Too bad they ain't so happy nowadays. TWA was a bastion of USA airline international presence up until the aforementioned airline deregulation act of 1978. After this point, it was pretty much a downward slide for TWA, also fondly referred to as "Try Walking Across" by it's customer base. It was not "third time lucky" for TWA, as their third bankruptcy in less than 10 years in 2001 was basically a staged event to sell the assets of the company to American Airlines. Not too much happiness for TWA employees on that fateful day in April 2001.

Allegheny: You've got a lot more going for you. To be honest, I barely remember this airline. But unlike the first two airlines discussed, this one saw the writing on the wall and was proactive. With our re-occurring theme, deregulation, looming over their regional operations, Allegheny decided that they needed a more "national" name and changed their name to US Air in 1979, Not that it was all peaches and cream after that, as US Air went through some major struggles after 9/11 and were only given a reprieve when purchased by American West in 2005.

Piedmont: Route of the pacemakers. Even though their motto appears to imply that they went into business to transport individuals with heart problems, they actually were a southeastern US success story, as they grew their route system from the Carolinas up into the Ohio valley. In fact, they were so well run and profitable, that US Air decided they needed to join together and purchased them in 1989. Thus, there are no more planes flying with the Piedmont logo on their tails, but the name lives on as a subsidiary of US Air, since they have to occasionally use the name or risk losing the sole rights to the name.

American: Fly the American way. Funny, because that motto makes more sense now then it did back in the 60's. Of course, no need on my part to explain that American Airlines is still around and flying, as they are one of the last major carriers remaining in these United States. But with baggage fees, excess weight baggage fees, additional baggage fees, additional excess weight baggage fees, seat upgrade fees, food service fees, beverage service fees, headset rental fees and blanket/pillow rental fees, you truly are now flying the American way!

Delta: Delta is ready when you are. Delta. through a nasty bankruptcy in the mid 2000's, has now merged with Northwest Airlines and become one of the behemoths of flight. This motto tends to be rather innocuous, implying that Delta will take off on time, feed you when you are hungry, fly to where you want to fly, and have your luggage ready and waiting when you get off the plane. In reality, it is probably one of the best double entendres ever unintentionally written into a slogan. One can't help but envision the substitution of a smiling employee ready to help you with a neanderthal in greasy coveralls holding a wrench ready to beat the tar out of you the first time you say anything that could be misinterpreted as demanding. Because, if you do, Delta is ready when you are...