Cable fables

Dear Congressman,

I was checking emails last week when I noticed one from my internet provider, Time Warner, stating the following:

A MESSAGE FOR

TIME WARNER CABLE

CUSTOMERS

To Our Valued Customers...

At Time Warner Cable, we're currently negotiating new contracts with Disney - the owner of ABC, ESPN and the Disney cable channels.

While we've been working hard to reach an agreement, Disney has been threatening a blackout - and telling Time Warner Cable customers to switch TV service providers.

But the fact is, only Disney can take their channels away from you - and this year alone, they've already pulled-the-plug on Cablevision and the DISH Network.

So if you're thinking about changing to another satellite, phone or cable company, it won't protect you from blackout threats - by Disney or any TV network.

Whether you're a sports fan, a family with children, or someone who likes all different kinds of programs, Time Warner Cable is determined to keep your shows on the air - tell Disney you'd like the same commitment from them.

Please visit our website RollOverOrGetTough.com to learn more - and thanks for being a Time Warner Cable customer.


So let me get this straight. The company that has provided mediocre service and fleeced me monthly for the rental of a "state-of-the-art cable box and remote" since the beginning of time is now wanting me to be it's buddy in a pending Battle Royale for the Corporation Heavyweight Earnings Championship, all because another behemoth is cutting into their action???

What strikes me as funny is both sides accuse each other of unfair tactics against each other while they plead their individual cases for me to back them in the great money grab of 2010.

Why is this funny? Simple, no matter what happens, the cost of any increase in fees between Time Warner and Disney/ESPN/ABC will eventually show up on my cable TV bill in the next 6 - 12 months, thus settling who the winners and losers are in this dispute.

Time Warner will pass it on, stating that they are really sorry but the increases in the cost of programming is causing this change in pricing. The big media providers will plead the need for the increase due to competition from the internet, and the American consumer will continue to write the check every month to the extent they are physically and fiscally capable.

Did I miss anything?