Wine review

Dear Congressman,

As a diversion from your many duties battling gun loving conservatives roaming the halls of Congress, I thought I would appeal to your palate with a review of a wine I purchased at Jungle Jim's over the weekend.

Review of Luna di Luna 2006 Merlot Rose

Region: Luna di Luna is produced and bottled in Calmasino, Italy by Ca'Montini Winery. Not that Calmasino is small, but Google came back to me and said "try again and work on your spelling this time". Undeterred, I then looked up the winery. They do exist, selling wines under their own name on a regular basis. However, it appears to be mainly through discount on-line wine retailers who specialize in these hard-to-find vineyards.

Opening: upon unscrewing the lid, I found the aroma of the wine somewhat pleasant, with the unmistakable scent of rhubarb and hints of ugli fruit and lemongrass. I decanted the wine for 15 seconds, as recommended by the wino society of Southern New Hampshire and then poured it into a plastic cup. After swirling around to allow it to breath further, I stuck my nose in the cup to better judge the scent. Unfortunately, it was still circulating in the plastic cup at a high enough level to be inhaled when I breathed in. As nasal cavity burns go, it was not entirely unpleasant, but I would recommend using the esophagus via the oral cavity rather than the nasal cavities to truly enjoy the full flavor of this fermented grape beverage.

Taste: Once I had recovered from my nasal trauma, I took the plastic cup and took a sip of the merlot rose. The first thing that struck me was a straw in my eye, as I was not paying attention after the nasal episode and forgot that I had put a straw into the cup. Fortunately, after a brief spell of sharp pain my eyesight returned and I was able to continue with the wine tasting. Finally, I got to take a taste of the concoction without further interruption. It actually was pretty good stuff, considering it was fairly sugary, enough so that I was tempted to financial support a pretty female half my age. But it was drinkable without wincing, which automatically gives it a 4 on the 10 scale. Not bad.

Appearance/packaging: This one gets an "F". Between you and me, Congressman, I personally would be more likely to want to grab this bottle when I have an upset stomach or a bout of dysentery rather than when I am considering what wine to serve with dinner. It is quite evident that, in Italy, they do not advertise or sell pepto bismo in bright pink bottles, otherwise this design might have given pause to the marketing department at Luna di Luna. I would lean more toward emetic than romantic when visualizing this product.

So, to sum up, through the mouth and not the nose, hope you like sugar, and ignore the bottle.