While walking to the bus stop this morning I noticed that large monument in Garfield Place to William Henry Harrison
, the ninth President of the United States, prior to that, a Congressman from Cincinnati such as yourself. So I thought he would be a good starting point for my new AB Tweet series, which is a fictionalized autobiography in 140 lines or less per entry...So lets get right to AB Tweet #1, President Harrison:
February 9, 1773: WAAAHHH!!!! WAAAHHH!!! WAAHHH!!
September 1, 1790: This is the third time father has made me change schools in 3 years, and I don't even like medicine!
April 24, 1791: Father died, so I don't need to worry about medical school anymore, got no funds
August 20, 1794: Wailed on Blue Jacket at Maumee River, them Indians took a lickin' when the Brits wouldn't open the fort & let'em in
November 25, 1795: Anna's old man said no to us marrying, so we just eloped, wish us luck.
March 4, 1799: Got myself elected to this newfangled Congress doohickey, looks like a bunch of snobs wearing wigs to me
January 1801: I am the Governor of the Indian Territory. Would have been nice if someone had told me ahead of time
August 12, 1810: Tecumseh babbled on and on at the sit down, but when his buddies pulled their weapons I knew the score, cooler heads prevailed
November 7, 1811: Freakin Indians attacked my camp! Drove them off but took a linkin' , this could hurt my political career
September 1818: Got Congress medal for that fiasco at Tippecanoe, nothing like a war with England to make things right...
January 1828: Simon Bolivar can kiss my ass!
November 1836: Ran for President, loss to that priss Van Buren
November 1840: Won this time, never thought a dinky fight at Tippecanoe would get me into the big chair
March 4, 1841: Damn it is cold and wet here in Washington, should have brought a coat with me for this parade
March 26, 1841: Got a nasty cold
March 31, 1841 Don't mind the opium Doc is giving me, but the leeches and castor oil are nasty
April 4, 1841: 12:30am "Sir, I wish you to understand the true principles of the government. I wish them carried out. I ask nothing more"
William Henry Harrison is buried in North Bend, Ohio, 15 miles east of Cincinnati on the Ohio River.
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